memories

July 1999 — First Adventure, First Shock


It was in July 1999 when a young couple boarded a plane for the first time —full of hopes, dreams, and a touch of fears. That was me, accompanying my husband, flying to England for an academic adventure.

Those first few days after landing safe and sound on British soil were so dramatic and unexpectedly funny.

Our first shock was the heavy burden we had to handle once we left Heathrow Airport. It wasn’t homesickness— of course, we were emotional before, during, and after embarking on the journey. But, it was another kind of burden that pushed our emotional drama aside: our two heavy pieces of luggage. That was the worst action drama one might experience while travelling. Shocked, my husband and I stared at them, couldn’t believe how and when we packed these two big beasts, and managed to get them onto the flight.

Oh my… May God forgive our families for stuffing our suitcases as if we were flying to Antarctica. And, we just let them—how we could not? The most common and “sincerest” advice we had received from my husband’s colleagues abroad was to pack as much as we could because “life was incredibly expensive in the UK.” By the way, that was a bit of exaggeration.

But, there’s a funny bit after every shock, right?

From London, we travelled to Manchester, and after a short stay there, we headed to Birmingham. The train journeys across these parts of England were hilarious—mainly because of our two bulky companions.

It was a miracle not just to get our two pieces of luggage onto the train but to find enough space for them. Actually, the two bags, lying in a straight line, were like a massive crocodile that swallowed most of the space in the carriage. My husband did the whole job; pushing and lifting. I was blessed to be excused from taking part in that embarrassing show, for I had just discovered I was pregnant.

Looking around at the cute suitcases and backpacks, we couldn’t help but wonder: why on earth had we packed so much? I did my best not to laugh, but I couldn’t. It seemed that my pregnancy hormones were getting the best of me. Thank God they were pressing on my sunny side.

So, whenever my eyes fell on our luggage, I burst out laughing. My husband wished we could push them off the train. ‘Let’s pretend we forgot them somewhere,’ he whispered, and my tears rolled down my face from laughing.

To be continued…

With hope and peace,

Nahla










daily prompt

When to Bother Becomes Why Bother?

What bothers you and why?


Ignoring—that’s one of the most bothering things.

Ignoring others, whether in preson or online, through physical interaction or unansewred messages and calls— that’s one of the most annoying experiences.

One can differentiate shyness from rudeness, right? And what I am talking about is rudeness—the art of ignoring others on purpose.

Years ago, when I was ignored, I would become upset, emotional, and even depressed. But things change— and we change too.

So, nowadays, when things happen, I whisper to myself, “Why bother?” But… I don’t actually say “why bother” nonchalantly. I mean … in the past, I would burst out crying at home. Now, I’ve made up my mind; if someone ignores me once, I will ignore them ten times. That’s not all.

Sometimes, I explode— out loud at home or within in my head. I will call that person every name my anger dictionary dictates, from every book I’ve read. Then I  breathe and repeat: “Why bother?”
(Please don’t reference me as a guide in similar cases.)

On the other hand, it happens when your mind, sometimes, plays back some unpleasant memories from the past—a misunderstanding, a loss, missed opportunities, unfulfilled dreams, a hurt, etc.

Other times, your mind recalls good memories that make you wonder how time flies and how much you wish you could relive them.

In the first case, I say, “Why bother”—let bygones be bygones.

In the second, I smile and pray that what’s coming will be much, much better.



With hope and peace,

Nahla

Just writing

The Heat Wave


It has been scorching and dry for more than two weeks across the UK. We had been waiting for summer to grace us with its warmth once more— it does, with more than enough. But it seems that rain’s patience has worn thin. Rains have already started gathering mountains of grey clouds, ready to have full control over English weather again.

But that’s normal—I mean the summer’s heat wave and its rain-showers successor. What isn’t normal is the maddness wave that seems to be spreading like weeds all over the world. It seems to be having the worst influence on people’s mentality— from the most powerful to the common, the wealthiest to the poorest, the highly educated to basic learners.

Sometimes, one wonders whether the heatwave is behind the phenomenon of the maddness wave that’s been eating humans’ brains. Probably. But unfortunately, it seems that rains can not find their way to some people—just like Mr. Mad.

Have you ever heard the story of Mr. Mad?

Well, it’s a long fictional tale that began on one of those boiling days. It’s basically about a wealthy great- grandfather living on the top floor of a skyscraper somewhere in the world, who decided to take charge of the whole building—apartments and residents—from the hightest floors to the basement.

Well… I usually don’t give any spoilers in my reviews, but I will just say that Mr. Mad’s days bring the worst heat waves and know no rain at all.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Passions vs Affections


Does it ever happen to you that, while reading, you pause at certain words and wonder not about their meaning but about their differences? In other words, you know which word to use,  but you still wonder why another can’t fit in this context or that situation.

Am I getting a bit philosophical?
Of course not… I’m just getting a bit speculative.

Let’s consider, for example, the words: passions and affections— the cousins from the sensitive emotions family. These two cousins are close in blood, though distant in behaviour. Isn’t their difference obvious, even in the very sound of their names?

Try and voice the two words.

Do you notice the difference?

Do you feel the strength of passions and the delicacy of affections?

By the way, both are healthy and important feelings for the well-being of humanity. However, each follows its own path.

Do you know why?

Affections are mostly hidden—quiet and deep— within the heart. Kindness, tenderness, and warmth are just a few examples of how affections work. They are private, gently whispering to awaken what’s good and pure inside us.

Passions, on the other hand, are strong, fiery, and bold. Excitement, temper, and recklessness are some examples of how passions work. They scream, shout, and might even fight to arouse and fuel the fiery emotions within us. Lust, in its many forms, is fed by the reinless passions— isn’t it?

Perhaps this is why affections live long and strong, while passions, in most cases, are extinguishable and short-lived.

And at the end of a long day, when eyes are tired and heavy with sleep, it’s the whisper of a genuine prayer, a kind gesture, or a gentle touch that weaves our happy dreams.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Can We Foretell the Future?

“…it is impossible to foretell the future with any degree of accuracy, that it is impossible to rehearse life.”

This post is inspired by this quote from A Room with a View by E. M. Forster—a book I finished reading a few days ago.

There’s an interesting irony woven naturally into the story. It’s about life, reminding us that it isn’t a script to be read, memorised, or rehearsed. Instead, it flows and surprises us in unexpected ways.

Strange, how others, unintenionally, play a role in paving our path to happiness without being a part of it.

Strange, how those who wish us ill end up helping us grow and live better lives.

Strange, how annoying, boring delays save lives.

Strange, how the rush—that nagging impulse—is just an urgent call to fulfil something before it’s too late.

And isn’t it strange how we make plans, rehearse good speeches, feel things under control…, and then life surprises us in the most miraculous ways.

Isn’t that just life?

Isn’t that why God reminds us: it’s temporary?


With hope and peace,

Nahla

Just writing

That’s hurt


It’s so painful.


Have you ever asked yourself these whys?



Why did I make that decision?

Why with a smile and a nod I say, Yes, I want to?

Why do I head there straightaway, on time, to keep my word?



Now it hurts, no… it’s so painful, more painful than the ache I felt before making that decision.



“You’re doing well,” they encouraged

“Well done,” they praised.

“All done,” they congratulated.



And there it is—your wisdom tooth, resting on the dentist’s super hygienic tray, glaring and laughing at you: “Farewell my friend, but don’t blame me for the extra, obnoxious pain you’ll be getting today.”



It’s not wise to extract your wisdom tooth, is it?

After all, wisdom doesn’t only cost a fortune, but it also has deep, stubborn roots that are too painful to yield.



With hope and peace,

Nahla

daily prompt

How could you give up this treasure?

What are you most worried about for the future?

Privacy. That’s the most valubale thing I believe we should all worry about.

Privacy. A precious virtue that was once treasured— before the madness of social media, before having cameras on smartphones, before homes became more glass than brick, before fashion meant wearing less than more, before movies and dramas with different ratings became not that different at all, before crude language and obscenity were regarded as comedy and entertainment. The list of “before” can go on and on, and it is really scary.

No boundaries mean no privacy, and no privacy means no morality, and that all leads to chaos and madness—just like our today world. The more you expose, the more popular and ‘normal’ you become.

But, don’t we feel sorry and sympathise with the insane because of their mental deficiency?

Of course we do. We would never blame, judge, sue them for their wrongdoings?  They are pardoned by both divine and human laws because they can not differentiate right from wrong, private from common.

Isn’t it strange how sane humans feel pity for the insane, yet behave the same— and even worse, expect the same pardon?

You know what? This kind of contradiction doesn’t even exist in the animal kingdom.

Isn’t your privacy something to value, to protect, and to worry about in this all-open, all-permissible digital world?

Without privacy, you are just like anyone, but with privacy, you are yourself.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Spring And May


It’s almost the end of June—I know. But the book I am reading nudged me to use Spring and May in this post.

Don’t you like Spring and May? I believe most of us do. They are full of colours, warmth, hope, beauty, brightenss, rebirth, and so many other positive qualities.

Yet we… no, some… perhaps a few are just fighting the first and engaging in a usuelss war against the second.

Now, just a second— I mean Spring and May literally, not literarily.

Here are two quotes to ponder over this weekend… or perhaps for the rest of your life.

“Don’t go fighting against the Spring.”
To me, this means: don’t try to spoil beautiful moments. If you can not live them, at least pause to appreciate them.

“War not with the May.”
This has a similar interpretation to the other, but war is stronger, more dangerous than fight, right? To start a war is to destroy things completely, mercilessly, savagely.

So, “War not with the May” means: do not destroy life,  beauty, hope, or dreams. Let May live. Perhaps its warmth, feshness, and tendreness can find a way into those dark, solid hearts.

By the way, spring is not just about May. Your soul and heart can blossom at any time throughout your entire life.

Haven’t you seen flowers in December, and green trees in Januray?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

Just writing

A Taxi Without a Driver!

That would be so funny!

I’d love for eternity if I ever got into one. But even if you gave me a fortune—I wouldn’t.


Just magine getting into a car without a driver—yet everything works perfectly. You hold your breath for a few moments, wondering if you’re travelling to space?  The vehicle is luxurious, comfortable, and incrediably smooth. You can’t believe it’s already gliding down the road. Before you know it, you’ve arrived at your destination. You get off and walk away, wondering if it was just a dream.

Perhaps the driver’s seat wasn’t empty after all. Perhaps it wasn’t just air filling the space. Could there have been a driver wearing Harry Potter’s invisible cloak? May be, you thought for anything is possible nowadays, right?

Some people might see that as a great emerging tech idea for safety— a smoother, quicker kind of public service. Wow. They argue that this invention could reduce crime, accidents, and other unethical issues. But so far, many of these  revolutionary technologies have been causing more chaos, more moral, physical, and psychological problems like ever before.

Have you ever thought about how these utopian endeavours could affect our senility, our intelligence, our social and emotional abilities, our self-esteem, and our sense of existence. Are these qualities worth nothing?

There’re loads … millions … and more faults in human beings than one can imagine, but at least we are visible, we are real, and we exist in abundance.

Unemployment and homelessness are major problems everywhere—so why make things worse by cutting more jobs, more wages, and more lives?

And then, they talk about some imaginary heaven with high rate levels of stupidity, violence, and poverty.

Have a safe drive,

With hope and peace,

Nahla

Books

Have You Read This Book?

I’ve just finished reading A Passage to India by E.M. Forster. It’s a well-known novel in the history of fiction, regarding orientalism, imperialism, and colonisation. You may have read or heard about it. As for me, I honestly came across it while reading another book.

The book reminded me of Edward Said— have you ever come across this author? I hope you have. I read two or three of Said’s books while studying for my postgraduate degree in Religious Studies. You might wonder how I went from my undergraduate degree in English Language to Religious Studies, but that’s a story for another day.

Now, back to A Passage to India. I am not going to review the story— there are already enough, in case you’re interested. I’d just like to share a thought that struck me while reading it.

True friendship can never exist where pride and prejudice surround it. Such an atmosphere cannot creat and nourish a healthy relationship. Mottos become empty words when superiority and inferiority are hidden behind the nice, smooth facade of so-called communication.

We are created different—in colours, shapes, tongues, and even beliefs. So why does one side decide to change God’s plan, or worse, play God in this temporary life?

So, for example, how can a man travelling by aeroplane be considered more civilized than another by horse? Why is a scientist seen as more civilized than a Bedouin? And why is a millionaire thought to be more civilized than someone earning a modest wage? And, as if that were not enough, this so-called the “civilized” often seek to dominate and humiliate those they call the “less fortunate.”

This is simply what A Passage to India is all about. Friendship that seems possible at first, but cannot last because it grows in a world full of pride and prejudice. That world doesn’t see differences as diversity—but opposition.

Ironically, the author himself tends to present things more as opposites  than as differences—framing them as superior and inferior, or, to put it more nicely, as the fortunate and the less fortunate.

I think Forster merged this duality unintenionally because he belonged to that generation. Even if he struggled with some internal conflict on this issue, he couldn’t overcome it—just like Fielding in the story. Besides, both were atheists, and their views seemed to slip away from the concepts of divine mercy and justice, which might have offered them a different perspective for building a true friendship.


With hope and peace,

Nahla