Tag: friends

Philosophical musings

I’m sorry

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Some people whisper it from the heart,

Some repeat it out of a habit,

some grumble it, 

some murmur it,

and some are too proud to let it slip from their tongue.

Aren’t these expressions of apology obvious to interpret? 

Both your brain and your heart can tell which is which, right? 

You don’t have to study psychology to distinguish a casual, fake, under-the-breath, shy, or sincere apology.

You know who’s the worst of all? 

Those who go round and round to avoid giving an apology;

as if they make no mistakes,

as if they don’t know,

and as if they are superior and above all reprimand.

They will tell you endless stories—fake or true, short or long—

just to evade what, for them, feels like the heaviest and most complicated word on the tongue: sorry.

But, those are hopeless cases. 

Do you know why? 

Because if you argue with them, they will explode.

If you go along and pretend things are okay, they will hurt you more.

The only suitable reaction is to play it safe, and smile not because they’re funny, but because they know you understand them.

Suppose one day someone comes to you with a warm, sincere apology— one touches not only your heart but also your soul.

Would you accept it? 

I think things depends on how close the person is to you. 

And how deeply the deed behind the apology has affected you. 

Right?

One day, as we usually do on special occasions, I sent an old friend a greeting message, and in her respond she asked me to forgive her.

The only harm she caused me was … disappointing me as a good friend— someone who was supposed to be there when I need them.

“I forgive you,” I texted back for I couldn’t find a reason not to.

To be honest, I was thinking more of myself than of her, thinking of how I would like to be forgiven too. 

But… you just can’t feel the same with the person.

Since then, she hasn’t sent any more messages, and neither have I. 

We have this famous saying in Arabic: Forgive and forget.

Funny how I used to teach it to my children, and they would wipe their tears, smile, and hurry outside to play with their friends again. 

But there’s another version of this saying: Forgive, but do not forget. 

The older you get, the more you understand why this version feels wiser.

It’s just a reminder that you, as a human being, need both to forgive and to be cautious.

To forgive is to purify your heart from anger, hatred, and agony, and to find this peace of mind that nourishes your soul.

To forgive is a noble path towards finding forgiveness yourself.

But, you, the same human being, have to learn from the experience.  It’s necessary, somehow, to remember the hurt, the lie, and the deception not as bitterness but as protection. Otherwise you may get hurt or disappointed twice. 

They say if something happens twice, it is more likely to happen again.

Isn’t that true? 

And people … they alway teach us important lessons. 

So grant your forgiveness, but remember why you give it in the first place. 

And, don’t close the door, just leave it a little bit ajar. 

With hope and peace,

Nahla

memories

Feelings And Eyesight

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Changes in your eyesight do not really imply medical problems. Sometimes, they can be affected by how you feel and think.

A few years ago, my daughter didn’t feel happy in her class because her best friend left the school ‐ just like that, without even a short notice. There were other friends, but she couldn’t feel the same happiness as if  something was missing everyday at school. Then, one day, as we were walking back home after school, she told me she couldn’t see the board well. I let a few days pass while observing her reading and writing at home. All seemed fine. Yet, she insisted that she couldn’t see well at school.

I arranged an appointment at the optician’s, and to my surprise, he prescribed glasses for my daughter. Honestly, I didn’t trust his diagnosis. He seemed miserable himself, and imapteint too. I could feel my daughter’s nervousness during the eye test. But, sometimes, you can’t just disagree with the doctor with a reference based on your intuition.

My daughter chose the frame and colour of her glasses, feeling so excited about her new accessory. The following day, she took them to school, and put them on once or twice. The day after, she left them at home. By the third day she had forgotten all about them.

“I see better without them, Mama,” she said and hid them in her desk drawer. On the following year, at her annual eye test check, the optician was such a cheerful person with a genuine smile. My daughter felt relaxed during the examination, and her eyesight was perfect.

“Have you been wearing your glasses regularly,” the optician asked.
‘No,” my daughter quietly replied, feeling a bit guilty.
“Well, it doesn’t happen often, but you don’t need glasses anymore,” the optician gave the news as if announcing the marvellous success of a hardworking student.

“Really,’ my daughter gasped, her face beamed with a beautiful smile.

I smiled too, wondering whether it’s true that mothers have a sixth sense -that intuition commonly known as gut feelings.

Whether you’re a child or a grown-up, your eyesight can be affected by what’s hidden deep within your heart and mind. Some might lose their eyesight because of grief, yet the same ones might also regain it through the power of joy. There are no hopless cases, but hope for every case. It’s the cause of the problem that might need treatment, more than the problem itself.

Don’t they say that a healthy diet and a walk outdoor in the open, wide beauty of nature can improve eyesight? I couldn’t agree more, becuase they actually can change your mood, brighten your day, and calm your spirit. This is a simple recipe that might help you take off your glasses every now and then.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Friends

nhpureandsimple

How many beautiful quotes and sayings do you know about friendship? Loads, I am sure.

But, how many of these fantastic quotes reflect your friendship experience in real life? A few, and I believe that “true friendship is rare” is the most realistic adage.

Years ago, as we were relocating, my middle son was so upset because he didn’t want to leave his friends. The more I explained how it was a good promotion opportunity for his father and all of us, the angrier he became. Then he exploded: “It’s easy for you because you have no friends.”

I didn’t know why his words hurt so much, though they were true. It’s not that I have never had any friends, or that I am an introvert, or I don’t like socialising. I am not. Besides, if  the long list of contacts on your phone and social media accounts counts as true friends, then I have enough. Do you think they count? I don’t think so, because friendship is about quality, not quantity.

By the way, what is a friend?

A friend is someone who crosses your path naturally, smoothly, and unexpectedly. They make you feel comfortable. They truely listen, and genuinely talk.They make you laugh, weep, and even get mad. They wish  you well, and mean no harm. Above all, they trust you, and you trust them.

You may say this perspective of a friend is too angelic to find in the human world. But, I don’t mean they have to be perfect. I don’t expect them to be flawless. I don’t ask for a stong CV with high qualifications, extensive work experience, and a dazzling photo on top of it.

I only expect my friend to be a human with a genuine presence. A friend who wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden, and would ask about me if I did. A friend who promises to call and keep their promise. Is this too much?

Perhaps, that’s why we made the best friends in the simple, carefree, and funny phase of childhood. But later on, things take a different route. In our teen years, friendship becomes moody, insecure, and even dangerous, just a reflection of the phase. In adulthood, it is casual, business – like, and a pastime much like social media. In middle age, it is a good book – the best friend indeed. And, in old age, I believe it will be a blend of good and bad memories.

By the way, this is my perspective on friends and friendship, and as we say in Arabic, it’s not the Holly Quran, so you can disagree.

Now, back to my son’s words. He didn’t ‘intend to hurt my feelings. He was about eleven years old, and his friends meant the world to him. He didn’t know about the phases of friendship, nor did he expect his mother to have gone through the same experiences with their ups and downs. Now, he’s twenty – two, and he has forgotten about his childhood friends, and has to move for better opportunities. It’s funny how I am the one asking about the whereabouts of his old friends. In most cases, he doesn’t know.

Isn’t that just how life is?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I started this post last Friday, night but due to many intqerruptions including having a bad cold, It took longer than usual.  Finally, it’s all done.

personal thoughts

Is It Okay To Step Out Of The Race?

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Of course it is, or, if you want, you can join it but at your own pace. If the turtle wins the race against the rabbit, then it’s better to be the winning turtle than the losing rabbit. That’s my opinion!

Just imagine two people running a race (perhaps you and me). The starting whistle blows, and the first racer makes an incredible start, running faster than sound. A few meteres back, the second racer is also running but at a cyclist’s pace against a train. The first racer’s aim is the gold medal. The second racer joins just to enjoy the experience, believing in everyone’s unique limits and abilities.

Halfway through the race, the first racer keeps on running and running, believing that a winner never gives up. Pushing even beyond sound speed, a pulled muscle, awful cramps, and a burning chest will never overcome strong determination. That’s the first racer’s mindset. But, this strong determination smashes into the hardest wall. All of a sudden, the first racer bends over, can hardly breathe, is on the verge of fainting, and almost collapses.

The second racer is far, very far away from the first’s spot, but senses the danger and feels the urgency of the situation. They say that in an emergency, people can react in two, no three ways: The first, close their eyes and ears and don’t care. The second, be struck by the shock and become another urgent case. The third, dash to help even if it means running into a big fire.

Considering these options, the second racer thanks God, for there was neither fire nor blood ahead. The, a few moments ago, relaxed racer forgets about limits and abilities, and runs like the wind to reach the struggling competitor. Now, it’s the paniced person who steps out of the race, and takes a shortcut to save a life.  Finally, and breathless, the second racer becomes the saviour who reaches a sacred life’s side, offering reassurance, and calling for help.

As I am writing this post, I recall what happened two years ago on sport’s day at my daughter’s school. The event takes place at the end of the summer term, with the running race always being the final activity. My daughter started the race so good. After a few meters, she slowed down and stopped. I could see she was fine, but she was walking back to one of her friends. After a few moments, they both stepped out of the race, walking slowly while leaning against each other. When they finally arrived, I ran to my daughter to check if everything was alright. She was just fine, but she had heard her friend crying at the back. The other girl felt sick and shaky all of a sudden, and my daughter would not leave her friend just to compete in the running race.

The medal is great, and winning is even greater. Is there anyone who wouldn’t like to win the gold medal after extremely hard work? Of course not. But sometimes it’s okay to step out of the race, to respect your limits, and to listen to your heart. In the end, there are many prizes more precious than the gold medal.

Is it okay to step out of the race?

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

personal thoughts

He Flew Away!

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That’s Blue,  my little bird. I think you already know about him. I wrote about him a few times.

Today, he flew away. 

First, I couldn’t ‘t believe it when I saw him ran outside after me into the garden. He’d done it once before, but this time, he didn’t stand on my shoulders, didn’t jump on the laundry airer, didn’t fly back inside, and didn’t even look back. He flew away, up and high in the blue, warm sky.

But, I believe it, and I even felt it. Deep in my heart, I knew he would. Today was the perfect day. Yes, it’s a perfect springy day. The birds outside are singing and calling one another, high and loud. He couldn’t stop getting excited, couldn’t stop spreading his small wings and letting the gentle wind take him away. 

I feel happy for him, but also heartbroken, very hearbroken. He’s been my friend for almost three years. Over the last two weeks, after his mate died, he followed me everywhere. He made me laugh, he made me angry, and today made me cry.

I believe birds have feelings, because they have a soul. Otherwise they wouldn’t get attached to others, wouldn’t fear, wouldn’t love life.

I only pray I made him happy!

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

A friend to all

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… is not a friend at all.

Have you ever heard this saying? It makes sense, doesn’t it?

Isn’t it odd that one can be your friend and your rival’s, your opponent’s, even your enemy’s? You can, of course, be kind to all, but not a friend to all. I am not talking about social media friends, for in this case you can be a friend to millions. Online frienhip is exactly what it implies “online”. I am talking about real, close friends who you can trust, love, agree, or even disagree with. Perhaps that’s why true friendship is a rare gem, too hard to find and too precious to keep.

In fiction, and in real life, true friendhip could take you by surprise. An old man might be a young child’s best friend, a man of the world might be a saint’s, a prisoner might be his keeper’s, and an animal might be a man’s. In all cases, its the quality,  not quantity that makes unique friendships.

Wouldn’t it be better if this friend of all should be a passerby after all?

Perhaps you can change the saying and add whatever you like.

A friend to all …..

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

daily prompt

To be loved

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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

It is to feel relief, comfort, and safe when crying into your beloved’s arms.

One day, just after the lockdown, I was walking home from school with my daughter. As we neared the end of a shortcut side road, I glanced at someone walking with a small child, about three years old. I immediately recognised the child as my new friend’s son, and guessed the person with him was his father. After brief greetings, the man asked if I knew his wife.

‘Yes,’ I replied looking down at the child, feeling uncomfortable. No one had ever stopped me on the road to ask whether I knew his wife before. If it werent for the child I was looking at, I would have ignored the man.

‘She died,’ said the man, and my head snapped towards him. Shocked, I remained silent wondering whether what I had just heard was correct.

‘Because of COVID,’ he added, and I stood there, still, all the convenient words ran out of my mind.

He added a few sentences, I didn’t hear and I didn’t want to hear.

‘May Allah rest her soul, and make Eden her eternal home.’ I finally said and walked away from him, clasping  my daughter’s hand tight.

‘What he was telling you, Mama,’ my daughter asked as she always found it hard to understand different dialicts of Arabic.

‘Will tell you later,’ I told her as we hurried toward our house.

I knew my daughter guessed what he said, because the word died was clear and harsh as he said it. We went home, and my daughter ran to her room. I knew she did’t want to know anything about the man or what he said.

There, my eldest son had just come home, and after one look at my face, he knew something was wrong. My tears flooded down my face as I leaned against his shoulder.

‘I can’t believe she died …I had …  known her … for … a few months … and her children …. they are … still young.’ I wept and wept, and my son listened, patting my shoulder until I had no more tears to shed.

‘But her husband had no sense. I just want to punch him in the face. How could he just throw that heartbreaking news at someone he doesn’t know, and on the road.’

‘Yes, Mama, but now you’re better.’

Can anything else be better than crying into your beloved’s arms?

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

daily prompt

Blue and Sky

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What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?


I have two cute parakeets for about three years now. Their story at my house started when my son’s colleague asked him if I could take care of her bird while she was away for a week. Of course I welcomed the tiny creature. Since it wasn’t mine, I never let him out of the cage but it was a torture watching him inside. Though, I liked him, I also couldn’t wait until he would go back to his friend. His short stay visits became frequent, and one day my son wondered if I would like to keep him for ever. Of course, I agreed, but I asked him to get a companion for my little friend. He did, and since then we have two: Blue and Sky.

‘How long do you expect birds would live?’ My son usually asks, teasing me.
‘Why does that matter? Today, they are alive, chirping, fighting, playing, eating, and flying around.’ I answered, making a face at him.

Do you think birds care about how long they are going to live? I don’t think so. But they do, of course, care about their life and take good care of it.

There is a common saying in Arabic:  “The soul is so precious.”

Every breath counts, every day counts, and every moment counts.

That’s my concept of a very long life.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

daily prompt

Be true

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What quality do you value most in a friend?

Throughout our life journey, we usually meet with a lot of people: different people, strange people, and special people. There is an Arabic saying that means; the friend to all is lonely. Or, in other words, the friend to all, has no friends. Do you agree? I do.

I have never had too many friends. As a matter of fact, I’ve never had more than two in every stage of my life. Having this few, or better say one friend every now and then, I have come to appreciate friendship as a unique and pleasant experience that involoves more than just people. This why I agree with the Arabic saying. I encountered people who have tried their best to make as many friends as possible. But, the process often proved futile when they find not a single friend who can listen or be around when they need someone. Just then, they feel lonely even with so many around.

Friendship is a noble and rare experience isn’t it?  And, a friend should be a  special person. And, by the way, ‘special’ can mean too many things but it doesn’t imply perfection. And, what I value most in a friend is their honesty.

What else could be better than being a true friend? Honesty. It really hurts when, one day, you find out that your friend was using you just like a taxi driver who’s been booked to take them to a certain destination. Once they arrive, they slam the door and left without even offering a goodbye note.

Your lifetime friend is your true friend.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

Unexpected moments!

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What makes you laugh?

Unexpected situations can make you feel either happy or miserable. Have you ever, when got embarrassed because of something, found yourself burst into a laughter instead of crying. Unexpected things can indeed make you wish the ground will open and swallow you up though later, if not at the same moment, you will laugh from the bottom of your heart.

An old friend told me once about her first visit to Madame Tussaud Museum in London. The place was so packed and after seeing so many make-real human statues, she stopped before one of them. She was so fascinated by the design of the necklace around the lady statue’s neck. My friend stretched her arm and fingered that beautiful piece of jewellery. But, all of a sudden, the statue moved its head and its eyes fixed on my friend. Oh, my … you aren’t a statue; my friend gasped and apologised to the lady who smiled in understanding. After her shock and embarrassment, my friend kept laughing until her tears washed all over her face.

Whenever I go to London or hear about Madame Tussaud Museum, I can’t help laughing as I remember this unique memory of my friend.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla