Tag: Family

memories

Feelings And Eyesight

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Changes in your eyesight do not really imply medical problems. Sometimes, they can be affected by how you feel and think.

A few years ago, my daughter didn’t feel happy in her class because her best friend left the school ‐ just like that, without even a short notice. There were other friends, but she couldn’t feel the same happiness as if  something was missing everyday at school. Then, one day, as we were walking back home after school, she told me she couldn’t see the board well. I let a few days pass while observing her reading and writing at home. All seemed fine. Yet, she insisted that she couldn’t see well at school.

I arranged an appointment at the optician’s, and to my surprise, he prescribed glasses for my daughter. Honestly, I didn’t trust his diagnosis. He seemed miserable himself, and imapteint too. I could feel my daughter’s nervousness during the eye test. But, sometimes, you can’t just disagree with the doctor with a reference based on your intuition.

My daughter chose the frame and colour of her glasses, feeling so excited about her new accessory. The following day, she took them to school, and put them on once or twice. The day after, she left them at home. By the third day she had forgotten all about them.

“I see better without them, Mama,” she said and hid them in her desk drawer. On the following year, at her annual eye test check, the optician was such a cheerful person with a genuine smile. My daughter felt relaxed during the examination, and her eyesight was perfect.

“Have you been wearing your glasses regularly,” the optician asked.
‘No,” my daughter quietly replied, feeling a bit guilty.
“Well, it doesn’t happen often, but you don’t need glasses anymore,” the optician gave the news as if announcing the marvellous success of a hardworking student.

“Really,’ my daughter gasped, her face beamed with a beautiful smile.

I smiled too, wondering whether it’s true that mothers have a sixth sense -that intuition commonly known as gut feelings.

Whether you’re a child or a grown-up, your eyesight can be affected by what’s hidden deep within your heart and mind. Some might lose their eyesight because of grief, yet the same ones might also regain it through the power of joy. There are no hopless cases, but hope for every case. It’s the cause of the problem that might need treatment, more than the problem itself.

Don’t they say that a healthy diet and a walk outdoor in the open, wide beauty of nature can improve eyesight? I couldn’t agree more, becuase they actually can change your mood, brighten your day, and calm your spirit. This is a simple recipe that might help you take off your glasses every now and then.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Please Follow The Recipe

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But I can’t. I have to take off something, add something, or change something. Don’t they say you should have your own signature? I totally agree.

Honestly, it’s interesting to watch how others use measuring cups, measuring spoons, a special knife for a special job, etc — so neat and accurate. But some people do not feel comfortable, and cannot work efficiently this way. Some people mainly save the main ingredients, omit the extras, and play without measurements. It’s easier, more fun, and feels special this way. If you relate in this context, then you should have heard of the traditional, old fashioned kitchen club. It’s different from today’s kitchen, with its sophisticated equipment, countless ingredients, and artificial colours and flavours.

By the way, you can count me as a member of this Traditional Kitchen Club. Would you like to join? While thinking, let me explain a few points.

When joining this club,  you need to be both patient and smart. There will be moments when you face problems and can’t evade embarrassment. Here are some extracts from my no-fixed measurements experience.

Say, for example, you have guests, and they praise and applaud your hospitality. But then, things don’t stop at liking and praising, for they become intrigued to know your unique recipe, and perhaps save it. Here’s my reaction as a member of the club:

‘The ingredients are ….’ I list them and pause for there is nothing else to add. I don’t have specific measurements. ‘hmm, you know…  sometimes measurements vary, depending on personal preferences.’ I explain with a smile.

Now, remember that these occasional visits with guests are much easier than your everyday interactions with your family. You should thank God that you don’t have guests everyday, do you? Here’s some snaps of my everyday experience that you might expect from your family in case you decide to join this club.

Whenever my daughter helps me in the kitchen, she asks the usual questions: ‘how many spoons to add?’ Big or small? Which cup? How long to stir? How long to wait?’ Now she’s the aprentice, and I am the chef, and to make things easy for both of us,  I have to estimate. But honestly, my estimations, most of the time, make things taste a bit different — or sometimes entirely different.

And there’s another challenge with my sons. They rely on their own measurements, but they don’t stop asking questions: “Which is which?” “Where is that?” “Can’t find it.” “Please put labels on things, mama.’ I finally did, though as a member of the Traditional Kitchen Club, I am convinced that your sense of smell is all you need to find what’s required for the recipe.

Now it’s tea time – traditional black or green tea. But according to the club, adding herbs to tea is beneficial, so I add some: mainly mint, cardamom, rosemary, or somtimes, thyme which tastes great with tea. (I add one at a time – in case you’re thinking of following the recipe). But, you have to expect that your spouse will miss the familiar taste and ask for a cup of plain tea.

And finally, in this club, while there are no fixed measurements, and freedom is granted, there’s one simple rule to remember: be yourself in your kitchen, and if you prefer simplicity, natural ingredients and warm flavours, then you’re more than welcome, and the Traditional Kitchen Club is waiting you aboard.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I was so hungry today – It’s the 28th of Ramadan. Perhaps that’s what inspired me to write this post.

personal thoughts

A Debt You Don’t Owe

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That’s worrying, and it’s awful. 

As usual, I came across this quote while scrolling through Instagram. And, as always, it reminded me of what had been my strongest enemy over the years:  my worries.

If you’re hoping this post will offer any tips on how or why to overcome your worries, then I am sorry, so sorry. All I can offer are kind words and prayers. Something like; ‘Don’t think about it too much,’ ‘I hope everything will be alright,’ or ‘Don’t forget to hand your worries to God.’ The same simple phrases I use to soothe myself or others when worries strick.

This method might seem useless to some, but to me, it’s the best. Imagine, you’re worried about … say your job as some of your colleagues get fired. So far, you seem to be in the safe zone, but without safe mind for your worries are eating it bit by bit. You pour out your worries to me, and I say: ‘Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.’ Would that really ease your mind? Or would that remind you of your actual debts and make you feel like throwing yourself out of the window?

Everyone has their own worries. It seems that even though life is becoming easier, it’s also becoming harder. There’s nothing quite like finding a good listener, someone to hear your worries, and reassure you with kind advice or heartfelt prayers. But, in most cases, people are busy, and overwhelmed with their own worries. They don’t want to listen, but to talk and nonstop.

Over the years, I’ve learned that most of the things we worry about don’t actually happen. Yet, they stay there inside our heads for a while, tightening each and every muscle, piling pressure on the skull, and causing the most awful type of headache: the tension headache. And you know what? No medication, no scientific tips, no meditation, nothing can relieve this headache like your own determination to overcome your worries.

I mentioned earlier that my worries had been my strongest enemy. They were, but not anymore. Raising a family is no easy task. Raising a family in a foreign land is ever harder. And raising a family with no family or friends around is the hardest of all. You can imagine why worries find it easy to pay me a visit every now and then. But those worries taught me to think differently and grow stronger, and, most importantly to hope for the best, and never lose my faith.

With hope and peace,

Nahla










personal thoughts

Friends

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How many beautiful quotes and sayings do you know about friendship? Loads, I am sure.

But, how many of these fantastic quotes reflect your friendship experience in real life? A few, and I believe that “true friendship is rare” is the most realistic adage.

Years ago, as we were relocating, my middle son was so upset because he didn’t want to leave his friends. The more I explained how it was a good promotion opportunity for his father and all of us, the angrier he became. Then he exploded: “It’s easy for you because you have no friends.”

I didn’t know why his words hurt so much, though they were true. It’s not that I have never had any friends, or that I am an introvert, or I don’t like socialising. I am not. Besides, if  the long list of contacts on your phone and social media accounts counts as true friends, then I have enough. Do you think they count? I don’t think so, because friendship is about quality, not quantity.

By the way, what is a friend?

A friend is someone who crosses your path naturally, smoothly, and unexpectedly. They make you feel comfortable. They truely listen, and genuinely talk.They make you laugh, weep, and even get mad. They wish  you well, and mean no harm. Above all, they trust you, and you trust them.

You may say this perspective of a friend is too angelic to find in the human world. But, I don’t mean they have to be perfect. I don’t expect them to be flawless. I don’t ask for a stong CV with high qualifications, extensive work experience, and a dazzling photo on top of it.

I only expect my friend to be a human with a genuine presence. A friend who wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden, and would ask about me if I did. A friend who promises to call and keep their promise. Is this too much?

Perhaps, that’s why we made the best friends in the simple, carefree, and funny phase of childhood. But later on, things take a different route. In our teen years, friendship becomes moody, insecure, and even dangerous, just a reflection of the phase. In adulthood, it is casual, business – like, and a pastime much like social media. In middle age, it is a good book – the best friend indeed. And, in old age, I believe it will be a blend of good and bad memories.

By the way, this is my perspective on friends and friendship, and as we say in Arabic, it’s not the Holly Quran, so you can disagree.

Now, back to my son’s words. He didn’t ‘intend to hurt my feelings. He was about eleven years old, and his friends meant the world to him. He didn’t know about the phases of friendship, nor did he expect his mother to have gone through the same experiences with their ups and downs. Now, he’s twenty – two, and he has forgotten about his childhood friends, and has to move for better opportunities. It’s funny how I am the one asking about the whereabouts of his old friends. In most cases, he doesn’t know.

Isn’t that just how life is?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I started this post last Friday, night but due to many intqerruptions including having a bad cold, It took longer than usual.  Finally, it’s all done.

personal thoughts

I Missed It So Much!

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How I missed writing so much over the last few days!  Was it three or more days that I didn’t blog a post?

Things happen! It’s not that I ran out of thoughts but I felt just like want to pause. Perhaps because of the terrible headache I got, or because of my little bird following me like my shadow, or because of my daughter’s half-term break, or becuase of my middle son’s move to another city, or because of my eldest’s move to another in a month or so, or because of my husband’s busy work schedule.

But, you know what? All these are excuses, because I know myself well, and I know that I want to pause, and that’s what I did.

However, I haven’t paused reading, though my reading rhythm is slower than usual this month. I love and enjoy the book I’m reading right now. It’s interesting, a different story with special, unexpected turns of events and surprises. I’m determined to finish it today.

I have been reading quite a lot of Daphne du Maurier’s books. My first was Rebecca, and since then, I have read one after another. Though she belonged to a far distant generation, with different writing style, prose, characters, and plots,  many people still read her books. Perhaps, some find her work an alternative to contemporary themes, trends, and stories of today. Or, perhaps some enjoy her work because they, too, feel different in their own style, own voice, and own stories.

Aren’t there people who prefer to take the road less travelled by? 

Of course there are.



With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

Are We Long Lost Cousins

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I stopped at this question as I was reading my book last night, but I wrote it down before forgetting about it.

Have you ever met a person who looks exactly like your reflection in the mirror? Isn’t it scary to meet someone who look exactly your double, even if they are your lost cousin?

I believe that’s not only scary but can also be dangerous.

That never happened to me, or anyone I know unless of course they are twins. And, even the twins I met, were not identical.

However, there is what people call the bond of likeness which doesn’t solely imply physical looks. I think that’s somehow can be like blood bond or soul bond.

The blood bond is comon in families’ similarities because of inherited genes. In my family, for example, though my sons look totally different, most people believe they look so similar that they are confused when calling them. Later, when they know them more, they see how they are different. Although my boys always laugh at these incidents, they do the same with my daughter and me, even though we look different. But it’s the blood that runs in our veins and how close we are together that gives others this impression.

On the other side, there might be the soul bond. That’s when you share similar thoughts, dreams, sense of humour, or even fears and worries with others. They might be friends, acquentences, or complete strangers, but Fate makes you cross paths together even once. In this case, you feel relaxed and happy to be in their company, as if you were somehow related.

However, back to the one – in- a- million possibility of having your double image, it would never be exactly you. We can’t just have printed copies of ourselves because we are not just photos. We are human beings with more than physical shapes. We’re created to be different, meant to be different. So, just in case you meet one day face to face with your double, be one hundred percent sure that you would never be confused because they would never be you.

Many books might have the same title, perhaps similar front cover, but never the same author, never the same content.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

Apracity

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It’s cold today, but it’s also sunny. I love it when you feel the warmth of the sun on a cold day. You not only feel the warmth of the sun; you also enjoy the blue sky, the green grass, and even the brown bare trees. People, big and small, old and young, will either put on their coats or not, and go out for a walk or a run.

It’s finally a sunny day.

Would there be any surprises in such a beatiful day? I have a funny one.

It’s sunny and cold, yes, but what’s more refreshing and enjoyable than taking the clean laundry out to fly with the light wind and dry under the warm sun?

I did, but before I closed the door, my bird ran after me. He stood on the airer and kept looking at me. To my surprise, I didn’t panic, didn’t try to catch him, and didn’t feel sad either. He would definitely fly away, soar high, and forget about me, I thought and continued hanging the clothes. But he didn’t fly away. Instead, he flew back inside and straight into his open cage. I really can’t express how happy I felt and am feeling.

They say when you choose to stay when you have the full freedom to go, you deeply feel you’re belonged and loved.

That’s the apracity of my day.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

I Still Have An Accent

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‘I still have an accent,’ an acquentence said one day, as we were having tea and cake at a café.

I told her that I didn’t notice that at all, as her English was so good, but she didn’t seem convinced. ‘I can’t wait to get rid of it,’ she insisted, making it seem like a big problem. I couldn’t help but wonder why it was a big problem.

Do you think it’s a big problem to have an accent?

Honestly, I don’t mind. Why would you mind if your mother tongue is different from the language you’re using for communication in your new place? In fact,  I find it interesting, different, and even special. Isn’t it the same when a native English, or French, or any other speaker speaks Arabic with an accent of their own tongue?

Over the years I have found that it’s hard for English native speakers to pronounce the ‘H’ in my name because it’s followed by ‘L’. Therefore, they drop the H, and instead of Nahla, they pronounce it Nala. I understand the difficulty, and don’t mind. We are created with different tongues, aren’t we? Isn’t that encouraging to learn and understand others?

In another context, a few years ago, while we were on holiday in Tunisia, I found it so interesting how their Arabic has a French accent. I really liked how different and unique it sounded. This is the same reaction I have when I meet Arabic speaking people from the Gulf region. Sometimes, it takes me a moment or so to understand, but I like how it sounds. I wonder how common it is to find people speaking the same language with different accents. Isn’t that what they call the tapestry of linguistic diversity?

The only exemption from this phenomenon is children. They are so quick, so ready to become bilingual with a fluent accent. I’ve noticed that in my own children, as well as other bilingual children. Perhaps, that’s because children don’t force it or overthink it. It just slips off their tongues so naturally and easily.

I still have an accent, and I like it.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla

daily prompt

A Craving Hobby!

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Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?


Some hobbies can depend on mood, taste, company – and, more importantly, the moment. Have you ever noticed that? I have.

I love colouring with pens and pencils, but I’ve rarely tried using brushes. I believe all children enjoy colouring at different levels; it somehow captures their attention and relax their mood. Colouring is the hobby I crave, like special things at special moments, shared with very special people.

So, in my childhood, I loved and enjoyed colouring. But as we grow, some old hobbies are pushed aside and eventually  become abandoned. But, they don’t completely vanish.

During my pregnancy, I craved colouring. A month after my husband and moved to the UK for his postgraduate studies, I bought children’s colouring books and pens.  I coloured them all in no time, selected my favourites, cut them out, and decorated our walls with them. They added life, beauty, and much fun to our small flat. However, I didn’t crave it in my second pregnancy, and it was pushed aside by the demands of life.

My faded hobby revived and was full of fun when God blessed me with a daughter after my two boys. We used to colour together and challenge each other to see who could make the best colouring. However, as we discovered other favourite hobbies, colouring was once again pushed aside.


They say colouring is an effective alternative to meditation, and it truely is. It extends time and makes every moment more enjoyable, putting all your worries and fears at the back of your mind. Perhaps that’s why you might crave it at special moments with special people.



With all the best wishes,

Nahla

Just writing

Endearment

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Is there anyone who wouldn’t like to hear or receive some endearment? Genuine ones. Pure, simple ones. Endearments that are not related to flattery or hidden self-interest.

Although people are different,  I believe the possibility that one’s heart will not soften at receiving an endearing word or gesture is small. Even those with rock – solid hearts, or worse, dead hearts, should have a spot of tenderness hidden deep whithin them that would respond to a genuine endearment. Why, even animals and plants can be affected by endearing behaviour.

Now, can you think of the opposite? Instead of being the receiver, being the transmitter. In other words, can everyone instead of receiving endearment, be able to give any? I don’t think this is common because not everyone has this talent.

Imagine two people watching a singing robin at their windowstill.
‘Hello there, sweet, cute, little friend,” one says feeling so happy at the sight of the bird.
‘He’s just a bird,’ the second says, not in bad way, but he simply can’t add any more, believing that a robin is one of so many birds.

Can there be special, irreplaceable endearments? Of course there can, though nowadays, I doubt if people really care about that. A year or two ago, I noticed what I believe is an odd phenomenon. Either on social media or at social gatherings, I heard children calling their parents by their given names. In the beginning, I thought they were just joking or it was a game. Mine make the same joke at home, somtimes. But what I saw, was not for joking, playing, or disrespect. It was like a new fashion taught by parents, like a new, modern parenting style. Honestly, I find it odd, and disliked it. What could be a more special endearment than hearing “mama” and “papa”, “mum” and “dad” from your children? Who else would call you “mum” and “dad” from their own hearts?

Endearment isn’t only about sweet words.Nicknames and your own name can be just as endearing when uttered by a special person, or even given genuinely by a stranger. It is something that can warm the heart and fill it with happiness.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla