Tag: blogging

Just writing

My daughter’s guest

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On Friday, at school home time, my daughter ran to me with a big smile. We had a guest. This guest was her class teddy. At the end of every week, her teacher picked randomly a name which is supposed to be the luckiest to have teddy over the weekend. It’s a wonderful idea because it encourages children to write about and express their feelings as well as sharing the fun with their friends. Every week they cannot wait to know whose turn it will be. They cannot wait to have this special teddy in their house, to take photos, to write about their adventures and finally to stick and arrange everything in the teddy’s schoolbook.

So on Friday, it was my daughter’s turn. Her adventure started as soon as we left the school. She talked with her teddy about our daily walking journey to and back from school. She believed teddy was so excited because last time when we had him, we took the bus, so this time was different. As soon as we arrived, she took her guest on a tour around the new house, especially her room and introduced him to the new toys he hadn’t seen last time.

On Saturday, it was raining when we went shopping and my daughter said teddy would be very bored; he doesn’t like shopping. ‘He will this time,’ I told her, ‘because I will buy him a special chocolate.’ Teddy wasn’t bored anymore. He flew in the air; my daughter jumped to catch him and hugged him. ‘There’s a surprise for you,’ she whispered to her guest who all of a sudden changed his mind and decided that it would be fun to go shopping.

Sunday was the best; sunny and warm and we went to the seafront. There, Teddy had an ice cream. There, he collected stones. There he waved to the big ferry. What else, there he giggled when one of the little boys ran to the water to wash his chocolate ice cream cone. He gasped when his tiny feet touched the chilly salty water. But finally, he was tired and fell asleep. But on the way home, he got up and begged his friend to take him to the park. He wanted to go on the swing. And so we went there. My daughter set him next to her on the swing and took up to the sky. She looked after him so well and he didn’t fall.

It was really fun to have teddy. I think it’s a brilliant idea that can create a wonderful story out of a simple toy.

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

 

Have fun teddy!

 

 

Just writing

One more!

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Today at breakfast, my daughter said; ‘I’m full, mama.’ There wasn’t much left and I asked her to try one more to finish her plate. ‘I’m full, mama,’ she repeated.

I did not force her because she ate well and sometimes you cannot add any more. I don’t know how people in food competitions could eat that much just to win or to register a high score. It’s really awful to eat more than you can afford. It is known that animals eat when they are hungry; they eat to survive although these days I doubt it. I think they’ve changed too. Have you seen how seagulls snatch, or better to say steal, people’s sandwiches, chips and crisps? When I was young I learned that seagulls fish close to the surface. They also eat earthworms, snails and slugs. But when I moved to cities by sea or rivers, I noticed how these birds have not only adapted well to live with man but also learned his greedy eating habit.

Many years ago, one of my friends went to a social gathering with people of her country at well-known Arabic restaurant. She visited me after they had finished and described the different varieties of starters, main dishes and desserts; hummus, tabula, green salad, stuffed vine leaves, kebab, baklava, rice pudding … yummy! The list made my mouth water. But she did not look well. She tried to lay down on the sofa but she couldn’t. She told me that she ate so much and her husband gave her more. Then, she couldn’t hold it anymore; she ran to the bathroom and vomited up all the food she had eaten that night.

Wasn’t it better if she said she cannot eat anymore?

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

Just writing

Imagine

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Imagine one day, you were sitting peacefully in the bus, watching people getting on and off and waiting for your stop, when an old woman, poorly dressed, walking step by step like a one year old child, dragging carefully her shopping trolley, got slowly on the bus. You decided to move back to give that old woman a space, but instead of taking that place, she went after you and took the seat just in front of yours, and placed her trolley on the way of other passengers, blocking them from going forward or backward. It was unavoidable within this close distance not to smell her coat fully soaked with sweaty smell of cigarette and alcohol, when all of a sudden she turned her head back and stared at your face. ‘Thank you,’ you would expect to hear but instead she whispered, ‘chaaaaaaange.’

Would you give her or would you not?

While writing this post, I remembered this story that I have read long time ago:

Once upon a time, there was an old kind man, he was well-off but not that rich. He was living in a quite village, just few miles away from the city.  One night, on his way to pray at the village mosque, a young lady stopped him and asked for  some money, she need money to feed her children who were starving for days, this was what she said. The old man gave her what he had in his pocket and went to pray. The following night, a young girl stopped him asking for money to get some medicine and food for her old poor father who had been sick-in-bed for days. And again the old man gave her money and went to pray. On the third night, the old man was walking with a friend to the mosque, a guest for a couple of days, when an old woman approached them wailing, telling that her son had left for a month and she had neither money nor food. The friend kept silent while watching the old man giving her what he had.

Did the friend give that woman any money? No.

Did he ask the old man not to give her money? No.

And did the old man ask the friend to give her money? No.

On his last night at his host’s house, the friend and the old man were stopped again by a woman with a different look, telling a new story and asking for money. When she finished, the man asked simply;  ‘where is your house?’ The woman with her eyes wide open looked at the man and suddenly ran away.

‘Didn’t you realise that this was the same woman you gave her money yesterday?’ The friend said, smiling and looking at the old man.

‘No, I didn’t notice that,’ said the old man

‘Last night I could tell at a glance that she was one of those impostors, known in the city of their tricks to get money.’

The contented, placid old man looked at his friend and said:

‘I gave that money for God’s sake whether the one who asked was telling a lie or the truth. May Allah accept it as a sincere deed of charity!’

This is just a story that shows two different attitudes and I believe both are right: The old man and the friend. I’m not sure if I can act like the old man but I’m more like the friend.

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

Just writing

One of the best

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One of the best things I have started in 2017 was blogging or in other words writing.

Writing has always been my best hobby and though I didn’t keep anything of what I wrote when I was young, I remember very well that writing was not hard, boring or odd for me; simply because I love writing and I write what I love.

At university, I mainly studied English Language and literature but we also used to study Arabic literature and grammar as a main part of the BA programme. One day our Arabic literature lecturer asked us to write a free piece, anything we like, as one of our main tasks and promised that extra marks would be added to the mark we got at our Arabic exam. This wasn’t everything, he also promised that the best five or six (can’t remember the exact number) pieces would be published in his book which we would study that year (of course as appendix). So there were no worries about being marked down or getting a fail, just a page or half, but it had to be done before our next lecture; We all were so pleased and thought that was a brilliant idea, wasn’t it?

I did not care that mine would be one of those chosen pieces; honestly I believed that our lecturer would never read all of our writings; I just wondered what to write but finally I decided to write about my father.

At the beginning of that year, my father passed away, and so I wrote about death, the final fate that we cannot change or escape. I wondered if one has a choice either to die before or after his/her beloved ones, what he/she would choose. I thought of my father and believed that he would have willingly chosen that same time because he loved us.

Before the following lecture, and as promised, the book was available and five pieces were added at the end; mine was one of them. I was totally surprised, delighted and nervous, too nervous indeed; I was surprised because I didn’t make any great effort in that piece, and delighted because my writing was one of the best, and nervous because I became popular, everybody started asking about me, including our lecturer who hadn’t known any of our names before, and I wished I could hide under the desk for the rest of that day.

I have no idea how far my writing will go, but I believe it’s a wonderful gift.

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

Just writing

Parents’ evening

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Parents’ evening is a good opportunity to know about your children progress at school and to know what their teachers and friends see and tell about them away from their parents’ eyes.

Academic achievements is always the main concern of most parents. Most of us would probably ask; how far my son or daughter is doing in Math, science, English and other subjects? what does he/ she need to get better? However, as well as children’s reports would be different, also parents’ attitudes towards these evenings are different. Actually, this is very interesting for me.

One of my friends told me once that her parents had never attended any parents’ evenings; they were more concerned about the end of year results or the marks she got at any exam and because she was doing well; they had never attended any of those evenings. This does not mean that they didn’t care but their point of view is that everything will be reflected in their school reports.

Other parents, would never miss out any parents’ evenings. They get their golden opportunity  to explode with all those negative thoughts about their children or the school. This group usually take more than the expected time for a meeting. Last year, my husband told me that one of the parents kept arguing and arguing; apparently he was complaining either about his child’s performance or the school in general. Those parents also care about their children but this is their way to complain to make sure that their children get the best of everything even if this was not possible either from the perspective of a school or the abilities of children.

Is there other group? Yes there is those parents always happy to attend and to meet with the teachers; they might be a bit late but it does not matter, they come any way. For them everything is positive and wonderful and they can not wait to spread the good news about their children’s wonderful performance at school ignoring that there was a tiny missing part of the story about their children being a bit behind or any other educational issue. They also care but they have their special way!

Who else do I see? Actually , I see us, and there are many like us, who also would try to attend all meetings as far as we can, but who also do not talk too much. We usually finish within the time or may be earlier. We listen more than we talk and this is why I think we usually finish early. We, and many other parents, believe that the academic performance is important but we also believe that the way teachers talk, and the expressions they show about our children is important too. I feel happy when I see their teachers’ big smile and feel the affection and joy in their voices while talking about my children which is the best thing any parent should be proud of.

Next time when you have a parents’ evening at your children’s school, remember to watch how parents would act while waiting for your turn.

Parents have different philosophies, haven’t they?

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

Just writing

Five pound

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Though our dinner time always start peacefully, it has become my son’s habit to start teasing his little sister just before he finishes eating. There is 8 years gap between them but he always finds it funny to annoy her though he is not doing the same with his brother who is just 2 years older. How is this related to the 5 pound note? This is what I am going to explain now:

Yesterday, when having our dinner, I was not in that good mood and I did not expect to be that patient when watching one laughing and the other screaming. So I thought about discussing something and I started telling them something that though had happened last week but had just came to mind at that moment. I said:

“Last week when I was waiting for the bus to pick up Mariam (my daughter) from school, I saw a young man quickened his pace as if he was going to catch the bus though no bus at the bus stop. But he suddenly bend over and snatched a £5 note from the ground. He really picked it up so quickly as if he was snatching it and hid it in his pocket. He then walked more quickly and disappeared.”

My sons said: “What did you expect mama?”

I said: “Well, since it was not a clear scene, I expected that he would ask me or ask the old man that was just a few steps ahead if it was ours but he didn’t! I thought that the old man probably had dropped it as I was there for about a few minutes and I was totally sure there was nothing on the ground.  Also, it was not mine as I had not got any on that day.” I then asked: “What about you? What would you do?”

My older son kept quiet which was really the best thing to do at that time. It was my middle son who started arguing explaining everybody would do the same and nobody is going to ask; “Is this yours?” “It was just a £5 not £1000 mama”, he said.  Then he started questioning me:  if it was you or the other man seeing it first, wouldn’t you take it? Why did anyone leave it? It did not belong to any one.”

I replied:”Yes it did not belong to anyone and I just guessed that it was the other man’s. And yes it was not a classroom or a school so you know where to ask. But I just wondered why he did not even look round and pretend that he wouldn’t take it.”

Before my son say anything, my daughter decided to join in giving her own opinion which would definitely oppose her brother’s and make him wrong: “No we do not take it. It’s not ours”, she said. And this was the straw that broke the camel’s back as they remembered they had not practiced their everyday habit and they started all over again.

Was it better if we did not discuss any topic at dinner time?

All the best,

Nahla

 

Just writing

Good intentions!

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The road to hell is paved with good intentions!

Sometimes we hear a person (may be we are that person) saying: “I did not want to do that wrong.” “I know that was wrong but I  have good intentions; only God knows what’s hidden in my heart.”

True; only God knows what is hidden in our hearts, but it‘s also definitely true that we are responsible for our choices and deeds; and we will not be asked about our intentions as long as they will not be turned  into real deeds.

How can a doctor, for example, decide to terminate the life of his patient by any medical means under the name of having good intentions to relieve him from more suffering? Isn’t it a crime disguised in good intentions?

How can a structural engineer design and supervise a building for social housing that look magnificent from the outside while lacking all those safe and accurate internal techniques. When the building collapse and innocent people die, he would probably talk about his good intentions to supply those poor homeless people with any shelter as soon as possible. Wonderful intentions! Indeed. Unfortunately, it cannot alter the fact that this is also a crime.

But isn’t it true that good intentions can also save us. In other words, if we think of good things, God will help us and we will reap what we sow! What’s the difference, then? Simply it’s again our deeds. In other words, in this case we have good thoughts; we want to follow good means to fulfil our good aims. In all directions righteousness are there to guide us.  This is why we will be rewarded for our good intentions even if we did not manage to do them.

There is a short story, popular story in Arabic heritage, that can symbolise the significance of intentions;

One day a royal prince looking so ambitious, thinking about the kingdom and its subjects, decided to take a tour around his palace and was accompanied by his minister. It was a warm day and they decided to start early in the morning. They did not go that far when the prince suddenly saw a small house surrounded by a beautiful green garden full of neat small trees with glossy leaves and ripe fruits. The prince decided to get inside and have some rest at that garden. As soon as he stepped inside, he was amazed by the beauty of those red fruits hanging on the branches of their trees and glowing under the sun rays that had just started spreading and adding extra heat to the day.  A little girl came to welcome the visitors. She knew the Prince; of course who could not recognise the royal heir?!

Before the girl said anything, the prince said:

“We were having a tour around and we would like to have some rest at your beautiful garden.”

The girl replied: “Welcome your highness! This is a great honour.”

The prince then asked her: “Wouldn’t you offer us a fresh drink?”

The girl replied: “Of course your highness; I won’t be long.”

The prince rested under the shade of one of those beautiful trees enjoying the fresh breeze of the morning and smelling the soft fragrance of the garden and thought about how poor people were blessed with such a peaceful life. Then he decided to pay generously for his drink.

The girl came back in what seemed like a couple of minutes with a cup full of red juice. The prince said: “You were so quick! What kind of juice is this?”

The girl said:” Pomegranate; I picked just two from our trees.”

As soon as the prince started drinking, he believed that it was the best juice he had ever tasted! It was cold, fresh and so sweet that he drank it all and wondered if he could get one more before leaving which certainly was welcomed by the girl.

But this time something had changed, the prince’s good intentions changed into evil ones, he thought:

“How could not this magnificent garden with such beautiful pomegranate trees be part of my palace? As soon as I get back, I will give my orders to start making the proper extensions and this garden would definitely be mine.”

But this time, he waited too much for the girl to come with the tasty juice. What had been done in a couple of minutes, was taking more than an hour. At last the girl came with just a half cup of juice. When the prince started drinking, he tasted a complete different juice.

“Yuk! What is this juice?” He asked

“Pomegranate, Your highness!” the girl replied

“Where did you get it from? How many did you juice? And why were you so late this time?!” the prince angrily questioned.

“At the beginning, I picked two from the same tree as I did before but they were not enough so I picked 10 more pomegranates and still could not get enough juice. This is why I was late.”

The prince was totally shocked: “What happened then? If it was the same tree and you juiced more fruits, why its taste is different? Why is it so bitter?

Though little but she was so wise, the little girl said: “May be you have changed your intentions, your highness!”

The prince knew she was right.

Wasn’t she?

 

With all best wishes,

Nahla

 

 

Just writing

Our names

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When we meet with new people, we sometimes ask them about the meaning of their names especially if their names sound new or odd. I am sure that my mother did not know the meaning of my name but she told me that she named me after a famous person that she admired at the time I was born.  My name was not that common at school or among our relatives and friends. There usually would be a maximum of two girls whose name was Nahla in any year group. Then, when I was in year 8 or 10, I had got my own Arabic dictionary from my school and the first thing all the girls checked was the meaning of their names.  It was the first time to know that my name means the first drop/sip of water one gets when drinking. I like it but I did not think that it has that special significance that others’ names have, e.g. beautiful, princess, night, morning, moon, etc. Then and after many years, when I was doing my Quran recitation exam, there was a lady registering our names. She looked very simple, old and funny all at once. She started giving every student a special prayer according to her name. And as soon as she knew my name, she said: “May Allah make you a fount of Knowledge!” I was a mother having two little boys at that time, and it was the first time to notice that my name is actually derived from the word ‘fountain’ usually of water but it can also be used in a reference to knowledge; It’s never late to learn! Before that incident, I used to like my name but after that lady’s prayer, I began loving it.

In the Arab world, we usually say that everyone has a share of his name. This means that your personality would probably reflect the meaning of your name. It’s just a saying! But why not thinking about it?

What about you? What is the meaning of your name?

Let me hear from you,

Wishing you all the best,

Nahla

Just writing

Dreams

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We all dream while sleeping even though we sometimes can remember nothing but this does not change the fact that we dream. Our brains are indeed miraculous! And we cannot deny this fact either. Have you ever think about your dreams? I usually think in two ways.

The first is that dreams are a reflection of what we have been experiencing during a whole day, week or month that has disturbed, upset or delighted us most.  In this case; dreams reflect one’s deeds, endeavours, and even thoughts and feelings. This means that if my son was watching a horror movie at night, he would probably have a nightmare and I would say; ‘this is because you have watched such a scary movie at night.’ Logical thinking!

The second way is that dreams reflect what the unconscious has better known than the limited conscious circle inside our brains. Actually I believe that this is true too. This is clearly explained when dreams have a significance in real life. In other words, when we understand what they symbolise and see how they turn into reality! This also explains why we might have a dream about something which we think we have never got any idea about or people who we think we have never met or known just a little about. This looks like a psychiatric job now!

One day, I went shopping with a new friend. It was the first time we went out. At that day, her mobile was ringing and she looked a bit worried and hesitated not to answer it. Then she said; ‘today is the result of my exam.’ I understood then why she did not want to answer the call. But at the same time, I remembered that I once had seen her in my dream looking very happy buying some new clothes. I had no idea that she was studying for an exam at that time.  I did not know what to say but I advised her to answer the call saying: ‘why not answering it? This would be fine.’ What do you guess?  She passed her exam and was extremely happy.  I then told her about my dream. Though I told her that I had totally forgotten about it, which was true, I did not say that I did not know why I had such a dream as I did not consider her as a friend at that time. We then started joking about my dream. She said: ‘you have special powers’ and I said:’ you have to get me a present for every good dream I would see for you.’ Definitely, I do not have any special thing and when I think about that dream now, I can see that its interpretation simply refers to the beginning of our friendship. We all dream:  the noble and the villain, the poor and the rich, the weak and the strong, the old and the young, etc. I believe it’s just something we all created with, something that we may not pay that much attention though we need to because in our dreams we can see guidance, warnings, encouragements, and true things about ourselves as well as others.

When I was writing this post I remembered the dream of Fir’awn or the Egyptian Pharaoh at the time when Prophet Musa (Moses) was born. Actually it was a nightmare! And I really wonder why, though got the right interpretation by his wise administrators, he participated in the suffering and ending of his life as well as others. He saw an enormous fire that surrounded Egypt and burned all the Copts. In his dream, it was only the Israelites who were saved. Did he think why? The answer is NO. He saw the same dream several times. Again, did he think why? And again the answer is NO. He just wanted a significant interpretation which he was given by his wise advisers. They interpreted it with the birth of a precious boy among the people of Israel who would cause the end of his life and kingdom. Again instead of thinking WHY? He though HOW? How to challenge that dream? Later and after many years that dream turned into reality. It was not just a dream! It was his unconscious sending him that divine warning in case he would listen.

Sweet dreams everyone! but do not forget to think about them too.

With all best wishes,

Nahla

 

Just writing

Community

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When I was young, I knew the names of most of our neighbours and their children’s names. I know where they live and their flat numbers. I used to go to the nearby shop even if it was a bit late to get what I need and may pay later when my father visited the shop to pay for the shopping list we got without paying! There was a trust, safety, and intimacy; these concepts I had felt and known even before learning them at school.

But for my parents, this was nothing in comparison to their own days as they were raised up in the countryside where they did not just know about their neighbours’ names but also their family history. They told us how people used to support one another in good and bad times, how they shared their food, how their doors were always opened to all, how they did not worry about their old parents or small children because they were all close, and how the poor were sure they would get what they had asked for. I will never forget how my mother was very delighted when we spent the summer holiday at my grandparents’. She did not worry about anything even about us; her children, because everybody had known her and she had known everyone. She would always find someone around to give her a hand at any time!

This does not mean that life was perfect; of course it was not. There was all of these social vices that would exist in any society, modern or traditional, though in different context; e.g. poverty, ignorance, crime, superstition, etc. But this means that life was different; people think they were belonging not just to the place but more important to each other! Their daily interaction as well as cooperation regardless their differences make them happy.

Is this the meaning of COMMUNITY? I think; yes it is!

I experienced the meaning of community when I moved to live in the UK.  At the beginning, we lived in the university accommodation where I met with different people from different background; each one had different plans, thoughts and beliefs but we cooperate and do our best to help each other. We were remarkably happy which again does not mean that there were no problems or we all were wonderful friends; of course No. I think we just understood consciously or unconsciously that we need each other and we need to cooperate and to accept our differences to enjoy those years.

What happened then? Lots of my friends, living in different parts of the world, say the same thing; “We do not know our neighbours and sometimes do not even see them!” “We do not expect others to contact or visit except in social occasions!” “If we get a call from others it is not because they care but because they either have to or want something.” May be the life rhythm has become too fast, too rough, too technical, too expensive and too superficial to create the community that reflects the image of one body with its different parts. May be it is the rigid individualism or ego centered world that has cloaked this pure sense of community! I do not know! But what I know for definite is that there is no such joy as that experienced when living in a healthy community.
By the way, what inspired me to write about community was the new hijri year 1439. Yesterday was the first day of Muharram; the first month in the Islamic calendar. It’s a wonderful occasion to remember the image of community at Madinah. They too were from different backgrounds, different shapes, sizes, and colours may be different dialects and languages as well as different beliefs as Jews and Christians were living there too. But they cooperated to create that community that would enable them to enjoy their differences while living safe, happy and strong. And they made it!

Happy New Hijri Year!

And have a lovely weekend!

With my best wishes,

Nahla