Tag: personal thoughts

personal thoughts

A Debt You Don’t Owe

nhpureandsimple

That’s worrying, and it’s awful. 

As usual, I came across this quote while scrolling through Instagram. And, as always, it reminded me of what had been my strongest enemy over the years:  my worries.

If you’re hoping this post will offer any tips on how or why to overcome your worries, then I am sorry, so sorry. All I can offer are kind words and prayers. Something like; ‘Don’t think about it too much,’ ‘I hope everything will be alright,’ or ‘Don’t forget to hand your worries to God.’ The same simple phrases I use to soothe myself or others when worries strick.

This method might seem useless to some, but to me, it’s the best. Imagine, you’re worried about … say your job as some of your colleagues get fired. So far, you seem to be in the safe zone, but without safe mind for your worries are eating it bit by bit. You pour out your worries to me, and I say: ‘Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.’ Would that really ease your mind? Or would that remind you of your actual debts and make you feel like throwing yourself out of the window?

Everyone has their own worries. It seems that even though life is becoming easier, it’s also becoming harder. There’s nothing quite like finding a good listener, someone to hear your worries, and reassure you with kind advice or heartfelt prayers. But, in most cases, people are busy, and overwhelmed with their own worries. They don’t want to listen, but to talk and nonstop.

Over the years, I’ve learned that most of the things we worry about don’t actually happen. Yet, they stay there inside our heads for a while, tightening each and every muscle, piling pressure on the skull, and causing the most awful type of headache: the tension headache. And you know what? No medication, no scientific tips, no meditation, nothing can relieve this headache like your own determination to overcome your worries.

I mentioned earlier that my worries had been my strongest enemy. They were, but not anymore. Raising a family is no easy task. Raising a family in a foreign land is ever harder. And raising a family with no family or friends around is the hardest of all. You can imagine why worries find it easy to pay me a visit every now and then. But those worries taught me to think differently and grow stronger, and, most importantly to hope for the best, and never lose my faith.

With hope and peace,

Nahla










personal thoughts

Friends

nhpureandsimple

How many beautiful quotes and sayings do you know about friendship? Loads, I am sure.

But, how many of these fantastic quotes reflect your friendship experience in real life? A few, and I believe that “true friendship is rare” is the most realistic adage.

Years ago, as we were relocating, my middle son was so upset because he didn’t want to leave his friends. The more I explained how it was a good promotion opportunity for his father and all of us, the angrier he became. Then he exploded: “It’s easy for you because you have no friends.”

I didn’t know why his words hurt so much, though they were true. It’s not that I have never had any friends, or that I am an introvert, or I don’t like socialising. I am not. Besides, if  the long list of contacts on your phone and social media accounts counts as true friends, then I have enough. Do you think they count? I don’t think so, because friendship is about quality, not quantity.

By the way, what is a friend?

A friend is someone who crosses your path naturally, smoothly, and unexpectedly. They make you feel comfortable. They truely listen, and genuinely talk.They make you laugh, weep, and even get mad. They wish  you well, and mean no harm. Above all, they trust you, and you trust them.

You may say this perspective of a friend is too angelic to find in the human world. But, I don’t mean they have to be perfect. I don’t expect them to be flawless. I don’t ask for a stong CV with high qualifications, extensive work experience, and a dazzling photo on top of it.

I only expect my friend to be a human with a genuine presence. A friend who wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden, and would ask about me if I did. A friend who promises to call and keep their promise. Is this too much?

Perhaps, that’s why we made the best friends in the simple, carefree, and funny phase of childhood. But later on, things take a different route. In our teen years, friendship becomes moody, insecure, and even dangerous, just a reflection of the phase. In adulthood, it is casual, business – like, and a pastime much like social media. In middle age, it is a good book – the best friend indeed. And, in old age, I believe it will be a blend of good and bad memories.

By the way, this is my perspective on friends and friendship, and as we say in Arabic, it’s not the Holly Quran, so you can disagree.

Now, back to my son’s words. He didn’t ‘intend to hurt my feelings. He was about eleven years old, and his friends meant the world to him. He didn’t know about the phases of friendship, nor did he expect his mother to have gone through the same experiences with their ups and downs. Now, he’s twenty – two, and he has forgotten about his childhood friends, and has to move for better opportunities. It’s funny how I am the one asking about the whereabouts of his old friends. In most cases, he doesn’t know.

Isn’t that just how life is?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I started this post last Friday, night but due to many intqerruptions including having a bad cold, It took longer than usual.  Finally, it’s all done.

personal thoughts

People Do Tell On Themselves

nhpureandsimple

Isn’t that one of the life’s greatest ironies?

Sometimes, a person is so careful, so clever, so well prepared – in short, a brilliant actor. And yet, as the old Arabic saying goes: A slip of the tongue can expose lies, hidden intentions, and the true face behind the mask.

Surprisingly, on the other hand, honesty and a keen eye is all you need to observe the irony and smile.

The idea for this blog was inspired by a quote I read on Instagram. It brought back an old memory that made me smile. Before sharing it with you, I’d like to give a brief summary about my acquaintance with social media (feel free to skip this part if you’re in a hurry)

It wasn’t until 2015 or 2016 that I opened a Facebook account, and downloaded other social media apps like WhatsApp. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard about them, of course I had, but I am a full time mother with prioroties and daily plans. I was happy with using Skype, Yahoo, or Hotmail messengers for social commuications. Back then, things were simpler, and more convenient. But, sometimes, you can’t say “no” to change, especially when your children are getting involved. Since then, I’ve found myself in group chats; one for the mummies, one for close friends, one for other friends who are not close, one for community activities, and so on. Oh, these groups were funny, troublesome, and really a waste of time.

One day, a friend on one of the groups asked me a question about Quran recitation, as I was the only member with a qualified certificate. I answered her question, and she asked another. The questions and answers continued for a while. After many messages back and forth, she said: “Don’t think I’m examining your knowledge.”

“Why would I? You asked and I explained,” I replied. Honestly, that was how I felt, but at that monent, I realised it really was like  she was examining me. If only she had known that, out of respect for the age gap between us, I didn’t want to excuse myself and tend to my other chores.

She disappeared without a reply, no thanks, nothing. In fact, she wasn’t friendly with me, and if it hadn’t been for the group, I believe our paths would have never crossed.

Can you see how people can tell on themselves?

They say professional liars have bad memories. That must be why they end up exposing themselves.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Jumping Mentally And Physically

nhpureandsimple


I have just finished the book I was reading, and I really enjoyed it. It took me longer to finish this book than it usually takes with others. But, I made up my mind not to write anything – not to post on my blog – until I had finished it. And finally, I did.

Honestly, switching from reading classics to philosophy felt like jumping from one building to another. Both are skyscrapers, but their constructions are totally different. If you’re curious and want to know more about this book, here’s the link.

https://nh825.wordpress.com/2025/03/12/anam-cara/

By the way, have you ever jumped from a building to another nearby?

One day, many many years ago, I was with my cousins at my grandparents house in the countryside. The houses were so close that mainly an alley separating them. My cousins, one after another, jumped from the window to the roof of the other house. I watched their numbers decrease until no one was left but me. One of my cousins was waiting for me – encouraging, extending her hand, and begging me to hurry up as we had to catch up and continue the game with the others. On the other side, I stood, glued to the big window, looking down at the gap between the two houses, and felt it like a deep dark well. My heart stopped beating, almost.

‘You won’t fall down, trust me,’ said my cousin.
‘No’, I said, shaking my head.

She left and ran to catch up with the others. I burst into tears and ran out of the door just like a frightened cat to follow them, but by using the stairs. There, downstairs, I found them all, not waiting for me, but hurrying inside as the mothers were calling us to have the afternoon meal. People say that when you’re hungry and there is food, you think of nothing but eating. That was exactly what happened. We all ate our meal and then hurried outside to play again.

A few years later, after this incident, Cairo was struck by the worst earthquake in its history. I still remember how our ten – floor building was shacking like a rattle in a kid’s hand. My parents had just left to upper Egypt where my grandparents lived after receiving the news about my grandmother’s death. So, it was just my older sister, my brother, and me. I was doing my homework when the walls started shaking suddenly and violently. My heart pounded hard, and my whole body shook like everything around me. I ran to my older siblings, and we all stood in the hallway, looking to one another in panic. We believed the building was collapsing, as it never crossed our minds that it was an earthquake. Then, we heard the neighbours, people on the road, all screaming and wailing, “It’s an earthquake”. As the three of us ran to get out, everything stopped. The following day, or two days later, I went to see my friend, who was also my neighbour, living in the ground floor. Her leg was in a cast.

‘How?’ I asked.
‘I jumped out of the window.’

I burst out laughing. She lived on the ground floor, and all she had to do was open the door and ran out of the building. Instead, she took the shortcut, which wasn’t that dangerous, but it seemed that, instead of jumping, she threw her full body out of the window.

It’s hard to jump, both physically and mentally, into something different, new, or unexpected. But isn’t that also normal? There are people who jump without giving it a second thought, and, there are people who take their time – to jump, to enjoy reading a book, or even to write a new post.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

Just writing

Endearment

nhpureandsimple

Is there anyone who wouldn’t like to hear or receive some endearment? Genuine ones. Pure, simple ones. Endearments that are not related to flattery or hidden self-interest.

Although people are different,  I believe the possibility that one’s heart will not soften at receiving an endearing word or gesture is small. Even those with rock – solid hearts, or worse, dead hearts, should have a spot of tenderness hidden deep whithin them that would respond to a genuine endearment. Why, even animals and plants can be affected by endearing behaviour.

Now, can you think of the opposite? Instead of being the receiver, being the transmitter. In other words, can everyone instead of receiving endearment, be able to give any? I don’t think this is common because not everyone has this talent.

Imagine two people watching a singing robin at their windowstill.
‘Hello there, sweet, cute, little friend,” one says feeling so happy at the sight of the bird.
‘He’s just a bird,’ the second says, not in bad way, but he simply can’t add any more, believing that a robin is one of so many birds.

Can there be special, irreplaceable endearments? Of course there can, though nowadays, I doubt if people really care about that. A year or two ago, I noticed what I believe is an odd phenomenon. Either on social media or at social gatherings, I heard children calling their parents by their given names. In the beginning, I thought they were just joking or it was a game. Mine make the same joke at home, somtimes. But what I saw, was not for joking, playing, or disrespect. It was like a new fashion taught by parents, like a new, modern parenting style. Honestly, I find it odd, and disliked it. What could be a more special endearment than hearing “mama” and “papa”, “mum” and “dad” from your children? Who else would call you “mum” and “dad” from their own hearts?

Endearment isn’t only about sweet words.Nicknames and your own name can be just as endearing when uttered by a special person, or even given genuinely by a stranger. It is something that can warm the heart and fill it with happiness.

With all the best wishes,

Nahla