Tag: life

personal thoughts

A Debt You Don’t Owe

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That’s worrying, and it’s awful. 

As usual, I came across this quote while scrolling through Instagram. And, as always, it reminded me of what had been my strongest enemy over the years:  my worries.

If you’re hoping this post will offer any tips on how or why to overcome your worries, then I am sorry, so sorry. All I can offer are kind words and prayers. Something like; ‘Don’t think about it too much,’ ‘I hope everything will be alright,’ or ‘Don’t forget to hand your worries to God.’ The same simple phrases I use to soothe myself or others when worries strick.

This method might seem useless to some, but to me, it’s the best. Imagine, you’re worried about … say your job as some of your colleagues get fired. So far, you seem to be in the safe zone, but without safe mind for your worries are eating it bit by bit. You pour out your worries to me, and I say: ‘Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.’ Would that really ease your mind? Or would that remind you of your actual debts and make you feel like throwing yourself out of the window?

Everyone has their own worries. It seems that even though life is becoming easier, it’s also becoming harder. There’s nothing quite like finding a good listener, someone to hear your worries, and reassure you with kind advice or heartfelt prayers. But, in most cases, people are busy, and overwhelmed with their own worries. They don’t want to listen, but to talk and nonstop.

Over the years, I’ve learned that most of the things we worry about don’t actually happen. Yet, they stay there inside our heads for a while, tightening each and every muscle, piling pressure on the skull, and causing the most awful type of headache: the tension headache. And you know what? No medication, no scientific tips, no meditation, nothing can relieve this headache like your own determination to overcome your worries.

I mentioned earlier that my worries had been my strongest enemy. They were, but not anymore. Raising a family is no easy task. Raising a family in a foreign land is ever harder. And raising a family with no family or friends around is the hardest of all. You can imagine why worries find it easy to pay me a visit every now and then. But those worries taught me to think differently and grow stronger, and, most importantly to hope for the best, and never lose my faith.

With hope and peace,

Nahla










personal thoughts

Water — Literary and Literally

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What Is Water? 

There are two ways to answer this question — literarily or literally. Which one do you prefer?

Of course, in a science class, I would have no other choice but to define water using its H2O formula. I’d have to think of it, literally: as molecules, atoms, and a chemical substance existing in three different states — liquid, gas, and solid. Such great, interesting, and very important facts, indeed. But, do we need to study water to know it ?

That’s why, with all due respect to science, in most cases, my brain leans toward thinking literarily, and in most cases, I let it take the full reign.

So, to literarily answer the question, I’d say: water is the soul of life. It’s the source of life. It’s pure, clear, and holy. It’s sweet, salty, and unique. It’s up there in the sky, lies deep underground, and flows between the mountains.

Nothing quenches your thirst like water. Nothing cleanses your body like water. And, nothing purifies your heart like genuine tears, which, too, are water.

Water gives and takes, destroys and builds, heals and wounds.

It’s so powerful, yet so gentle.

It’s part of our creation, every creature’s creation.

Isn’t it miraculous? Far more wondrous than the Seven Wonders of the World?

Ironically, a Bedouin in the desert, a farmer in the village, and even an animal in the woods appreciate this divine blessing more than students in a science class.

And here’s a beautiful quote by Rumi that says: “Perform your ablution with love, for a prayer with a spiteful heart is not permissible.” (My translation). A spiteful heart is the only thing water cannot cleanse, because it is unreachable, untouchable. It’s only when that spiteful heart discovers love that water can reach and cleanse it, fully preparing it for the sacred prayer.


With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

The Gracious Eye

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First of all, I’d like to say that I have just come across the concept of the gracious eye in the book I am currently reading. I find it interesting to let you know about it too — perhaps, you’re already familiar with it. Anyway, this insight might be helpful when life feels as sour as expired Milk. But, does life have an expiry date? keep reading, and I will explain my point in just a moment.

They say truth needs the gracious eye. Do you know why?

Truth, in most cases, is objective. It reveals accurate facts, real stories, unbiased conclusions. That’s why it can hurt, shock, and even terrify. Truth is usually blunt and heartless. And, that’s why it needs the gracious eye — to make it tolerable, acceptable, and even beautiful.

So, what is the gracious eye?

It is the way you try to find unmentioned within the mentioned, the possible within the impossible, and the light within the dark. In other words, it is when you choose to believe in healing, and strive for contentment. After all, aren’t there useful uses for sour milk? Of course, there are.

Here’s the quote about the gracious eye:

“If we were to describe our life strictly in terms of its factual truth, most of its interesting, complex and surprising dimensions would remain unmentioned. The gracious eye can find the corners where growth and healing are at work even when we feel weak and limited.”

And finally, does life have an expiry date?  I believe it doesn’t, because it is not a commodity. Yes, it’s temporary, but it’s a journey — with a beginning, a fixed time, and a certain destination.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Hate Or Envy

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Both are destructive feelings, but which one do you think is worse?

I don’t know about you, but I believe envy is far more harmful and destructive. It’s envy that opens the door wide to hate, but not the other way around. For example, you hate evil, but you would never envy it. Hate is a stong word which is used for limited and specific reasons or occasions — that’s how our hearts work.

Isn’t it interesting that the heart in Arabic is called Qalb which means something that constantly turns or changes? This can explain why the people or things you hate today, might be the ones you like tomorrow.

On the other hand, envy is an awful disease. It is fed by pride, grows on jealousy, and produces one rotten fruit — hate. It begins as a small, sickly plant called jealousy. One day, you notice that your colleague at college is popular and beloved by all. You start watching them, and wishing them ill. That is when the sharp thorns of envy begins to sprout on the sickly plant. Eventually, you start plotting against your colleague. By this point, the rotton fruit of hate has blossomed, bearing no goodness, and knowing no mercy.
“I want what is yours” “I am better than you” “I will destroy you” the envier whispers, and laughs out loud.

Years ago, my teacher spoke to us about the dangers of envy, describing it as a satanic trait. “Hadn’t Satan been jealous of Adam? Hadn’t he envied Adam? Hadn’t he promised to destroy Adam and all his descendants? He had, full of pride, and challenging God,” my teacher explained and advised us to strive for a positive and healthy mindset. “Instead of focusing on the others, focus on yourselves. If you admire something in others, try to create your own version of it. And, if you find things staring to lean towards envy, pray and pray and pray. God will guide you towards finding your way out.”

May your heart never know envy, and be full of love!

Amen

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Opposites And Light

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‘Opposites throw light upon each other.’

Isn’t this a wonderful quote? Do you think it is common to experience it in this fast-paced, technological world? I doubt it, but first, let me explain my interpretation of the quote.

The opposites in the quote refers to the unique pairs of opposites: day and night, male and female, sound and silence, etc. Here, light symolizes beauty. Now, when you think of it, you can see how the opposites form a beautiful conection in a special, unique way. They complete each other.

Why then, do I doubt this beautiful quote’s relevance in nowadays life? Simply, because, in most cases, the opposites we encouter are not complementary, but  rather one – sided entities with one – sided purposes. As for the light, it’s mostly artificial nowadays.

There are also the opposites in thoughts, which can throw a shinning light on conversations, discussions, or brief encounters. In this context, the shinning light symbolises respect and understaning. Can we allow  this light to flow, or will we turn it off for ever? In other words, we can choose to make our differing ideas fruitful and treasured, or to discard and misuse them.

That’s how opposites throw lights upon each other — just like the day welcomes night, and the night blesses the day.

Does my perspective make sense? I hope so.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Friends

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How many beautiful quotes and sayings do you know about friendship? Loads, I am sure.

But, how many of these fantastic quotes reflect your friendship experience in real life? A few, and I believe that “true friendship is rare” is the most realistic adage.

Years ago, as we were relocating, my middle son was so upset because he didn’t want to leave his friends. The more I explained how it was a good promotion opportunity for his father and all of us, the angrier he became. Then he exploded: “It’s easy for you because you have no friends.”

I didn’t know why his words hurt so much, though they were true. It’s not that I have never had any friends, or that I am an introvert, or I don’t like socialising. I am not. Besides, if  the long list of contacts on your phone and social media accounts counts as true friends, then I have enough. Do you think they count? I don’t think so, because friendship is about quality, not quantity.

By the way, what is a friend?

A friend is someone who crosses your path naturally, smoothly, and unexpectedly. They make you feel comfortable. They truely listen, and genuinely talk.They make you laugh, weep, and even get mad. They wish  you well, and mean no harm. Above all, they trust you, and you trust them.

You may say this perspective of a friend is too angelic to find in the human world. But, I don’t mean they have to be perfect. I don’t expect them to be flawless. I don’t ask for a stong CV with high qualifications, extensive work experience, and a dazzling photo on top of it.

I only expect my friend to be a human with a genuine presence. A friend who wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden, and would ask about me if I did. A friend who promises to call and keep their promise. Is this too much?

Perhaps, that’s why we made the best friends in the simple, carefree, and funny phase of childhood. But later on, things take a different route. In our teen years, friendship becomes moody, insecure, and even dangerous, just a reflection of the phase. In adulthood, it is casual, business – like, and a pastime much like social media. In middle age, it is a good book – the best friend indeed. And, in old age, I believe it will be a blend of good and bad memories.

By the way, this is my perspective on friends and friendship, and as we say in Arabic, it’s not the Holly Quran, so you can disagree.

Now, back to my son’s words. He didn’t ‘intend to hurt my feelings. He was about eleven years old, and his friends meant the world to him. He didn’t know about the phases of friendship, nor did he expect his mother to have gone through the same experiences with their ups and downs. Now, he’s twenty – two, and he has forgotten about his childhood friends, and has to move for better opportunities. It’s funny how I am the one asking about the whereabouts of his old friends. In most cases, he doesn’t know.

Isn’t that just how life is?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I started this post last Friday, night but due to many intqerruptions including having a bad cold, It took longer than usual.  Finally, it’s all done.

personal thoughts

People Do Tell On Themselves

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Isn’t that one of the life’s greatest ironies?

Sometimes, a person is so careful, so clever, so well prepared – in short, a brilliant actor. And yet, as the old Arabic saying goes: A slip of the tongue can expose lies, hidden intentions, and the true face behind the mask.

Surprisingly, on the other hand, honesty and a keen eye is all you need to observe the irony and smile.

The idea for this blog was inspired by a quote I read on Instagram. It brought back an old memory that made me smile. Before sharing it with you, I’d like to give a brief summary about my acquaintance with social media (feel free to skip this part if you’re in a hurry)

It wasn’t until 2015 or 2016 that I opened a Facebook account, and downloaded other social media apps like WhatsApp. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard about them, of course I had, but I am a full time mother with prioroties and daily plans. I was happy with using Skype, Yahoo, or Hotmail messengers for social commuications. Back then, things were simpler, and more convenient. But, sometimes, you can’t say “no” to change, especially when your children are getting involved. Since then, I’ve found myself in group chats; one for the mummies, one for close friends, one for other friends who are not close, one for community activities, and so on. Oh, these groups were funny, troublesome, and really a waste of time.

One day, a friend on one of the groups asked me a question about Quran recitation, as I was the only member with a qualified certificate. I answered her question, and she asked another. The questions and answers continued for a while. After many messages back and forth, she said: “Don’t think I’m examining your knowledge.”

“Why would I? You asked and I explained,” I replied. Honestly, that was how I felt, but at that monent, I realised it really was like  she was examining me. If only she had known that, out of respect for the age gap between us, I didn’t want to excuse myself and tend to my other chores.

She disappeared without a reply, no thanks, nothing. In fact, she wasn’t friendly with me, and if it hadn’t been for the group, I believe our paths would have never crossed.

Can you see how people can tell on themselves?

They say professional liars have bad memories. That must be why they end up exposing themselves.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

They Don’t Cost Much

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There are things that cost little but can brighten your day, draw a genuine smile on your face, and take you by beautiful surprise.

These things surround us in abundance, waiting just for us to notice and enjoy. Can you think of any? Please do.

Isn’t it interesting how these little things that make your day can be as much given as received? What could be better than kind words spoken fully and sincerely, without abbreviations? They are simple, free, and abundant.

Everyday greetings, wishes, and casual compliments are among the simplest you can offer to make someone’s day. “Thank you”, “Good morning”, “Have a good day” – all are free of charge, yet full of beautiful meaning.

Have you ever thought that there is a higher level of kind words, those that can fill your heart with peace and delight? These are blessings.

I once read that the word  “Hello” doesn’t exist in the Gaelic culture. Instead, blessings were used during their daily encounters. Isn’t this beautiful? This is so similar to my Arabic culture, where blessings are plentiful in our greetings.

May peace be with you.
May God be with you.
May God guide your path.
Be in God’s care and assistance.

There are loads of blessings, and do you know what, goodness in my form – be in words, deeds, or feelings – always returns to the one who gives it.

So, why give less when you can give more? After all, you will receive your great share of happiness. That’s God’s promise for both the giver and the receiver.

With hope and peace,

Nahla






story

I Want Your House!

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‘Good morning Madame.’

‘Good morning Sir, how can I help you?’

‘I’m your wealthy neighbour, the third road on the left. My mansion can’t be missed.’

Of course I know your mansion, heard about you,  no need to brag about your power and wealth. Besides, I have never wished, never would, to be honoured either with your presence or your company, I thought holding the door half -open. 

He remained silent, looking from me to my house. I remained silent looking from him to his massive, monstrous car swallowing the whole wide road just like an enormous  whale stuck in a small lake.

‘You’ve got a beautiful house,’ he said, with one of those fake forced smiles.

‘Thank you,’ I replied.

‘May I come in and have a look?’ Now, his smile was a mockery one.

‘A look at what?’

‘Your house.’

‘Have anyone told you mine is for sale?’

‘If you allow me some of your time, I’ll be happy to explain things.’

‘I’m so sorry but I don’t know you and I can’t let you into my house to explain things that have nothing to do with me.’

All his smiles, forced or mocking, disappeared. His face reddened and his eyes blazing. He was, definitely, on the brink of exploding, but that wouldn’t be my fault, would it?

‘But of course, they have. It’s about your house which I know is not for sale. But, I’ve come to offer you the deal of a lifetime.’

‘For my house which is not for sale?’

‘Yes. Now may I come in to talk business?’  He looked a bit calmer, a bit hopeful.

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘I told you.’

‘I can turn your house into a fairytale palace.’

‘It’s already my fairytale miniature palace.’

 ‘Your garden will be exotic and magical.’

‘Thank you very much but I’m not a wich.’

‘Your kitchen will turn into a sophisticated, modern restaurant with…

‘Sophistication and I do not go well together.’

‘Your bathroom…

‘Clean and tidy.’

‘How many rooms do you have?

‘Enough.’

‘Your bedroom..

‘I want to replace my dressing, and fix my wardrobe drawers.’

‘Give me time to explain.’

‘What do you want?’

‘Your house. It would make a great extension to my compound, influence, and buisness. But it will also remain your place. You can choose to live in its modern renovated version, or nearby. I’ll simply hold the “ownership”, and you will live a better life.’

‘Thank you very much but my house is not for sale.’ I shut the door.

He exploded, but, unfortunately,  I don’t have a fire extinguisher to contain the mess.

With hope and peace,

Nahla

personal thoughts

Is It Okay To Step Out Of The Race?

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Of course it is, or, if you want, you can join it but at your own pace. If the turtle wins the race against the rabbit, then it’s better to be the winning turtle than the losing rabbit. That’s my opinion!

Just imagine two people running a race (perhaps you and me). The starting whistle blows, and the first racer makes an incredible start, running faster than sound. A few meteres back, the second racer is also running but at a cyclist’s pace against a train. The first racer’s aim is the gold medal. The second racer joins just to enjoy the experience, believing in everyone’s unique limits and abilities.

Halfway through the race, the first racer keeps on running and running, believing that a winner never gives up. Pushing even beyond sound speed, a pulled muscle, awful cramps, and a burning chest will never overcome strong determination. That’s the first racer’s mindset. But, this strong determination smashes into the hardest wall. All of a sudden, the first racer bends over, can hardly breathe, is on the verge of fainting, and almost collapses.

The second racer is far, very far away from the first’s spot, but senses the danger and feels the urgency of the situation. They say that in an emergency, people can react in two, no three ways: The first, close their eyes and ears and don’t care. The second, be struck by the shock and become another urgent case. The third, dash to help even if it means running into a big fire.

Considering these options, the second racer thanks God, for there was neither fire nor blood ahead. The, a few moments ago, relaxed racer forgets about limits and abilities, and runs like the wind to reach the struggling competitor. Now, it’s the paniced person who steps out of the race, and takes a shortcut to save a life.  Finally, and breathless, the second racer becomes the saviour who reaches a sacred life’s side, offering reassurance, and calling for help.

As I am writing this post, I recall what happened two years ago on sport’s day at my daughter’s school. The event takes place at the end of the summer term, with the running race always being the final activity. My daughter started the race so good. After a few meters, she slowed down and stopped. I could see she was fine, but she was walking back to one of her friends. After a few moments, they both stepped out of the race, walking slowly while leaning against each other. When they finally arrived, I ran to my daughter to check if everything was alright. She was just fine, but she had heard her friend crying at the back. The other girl felt sick and shaky all of a sudden, and my daughter would not leave her friend just to compete in the running race.

The medal is great, and winning is even greater. Is there anyone who wouldn’t like to win the gold medal after extremely hard work? Of course not. But sometimes it’s okay to step out of the race, to respect your limits, and to listen to your heart. In the end, there are many prizes more precious than the gold medal.

Is it okay to step out of the race?

With all the best wishes,

Nahla