Some people whisper it from the heart,
Some repeat it out of a habit,
some grumble it,
some murmur it,
and some are too proud to let it slip from their tongue.
Aren’t these expressions of apology obvious to interpret?
Both your brain and your heart can tell which is which, right?
You don’t have to study psychology to distinguish a casual, fake, under-the-breath, shy, or sincere apology.
You know who’s the worst of all?
Those who go round and round to avoid giving an apology;
as if they make no mistakes,
as if they don’t know,
and as if they are superior and above all reprimand.
They will tell you endless stories—fake or true, short or long—
just to evade what, for them, feels like the heaviest and most complicated word on the tongue: sorry.
But, those are hopeless cases.
Do you know why?
Because if you argue with them, they will explode.
If you go along and pretend things are okay, they will hurt you more.
The only suitable reaction is to play it safe, and smile not because they’re funny, but because they know you understand them.
Suppose one day someone comes to you with a warm, sincere apology— one touches not only your heart but also your soul.
Would you accept it?
I think things depends on how close the person is to you.
And how deeply the deed behind the apology has affected you.
Right?
One day, as we usually do on special occasions, I sent an old friend a greeting message, and in her respond she asked me to forgive her.
The only harm she caused me was … disappointing me as a good friend— someone who was supposed to be there when I need them.
“I forgive you,” I texted back for I couldn’t find a reason not to.
To be honest, I was thinking more of myself than of her, thinking of how I would like to be forgiven too.
But… you just can’t feel the same with the person.
Since then, she hasn’t sent any more messages, and neither have I.
We have this famous saying in Arabic: Forgive and forget.
Funny how I used to teach it to my children, and they would wipe their tears, smile, and hurry outside to play with their friends again.
But there’s another version of this saying: Forgive, but do not forget.
The older you get, the more you understand why this version feels wiser.
It’s just a reminder that you, as a human being, need both to forgive and to be cautious.
To forgive is to purify your heart from anger, hatred, and agony, and to find this peace of mind that nourishes your soul.
To forgive is a noble path towards finding forgiveness yourself.
But, you, the same human being, have to learn from the experience. It’s necessary, somehow, to remember the hurt, the lie, and the deception not as bitterness but as protection. Otherwise you may get hurt or disappointed twice.
They say if something happens twice, it is more likely to happen again.
Isn’t that true?
And people … they alway teach us important lessons.
So grant your forgiveness, but remember why you give it in the first place.
And, don’t close the door, just leave it a little bit ajar.
With hope and peace,
Nahla
Pure and Simple 