Friends

How many beautiful quotes and sayings do you know about friendship? Loads, I am sure.

But, how many of these fantastic quotes reflect your friendship experience in real life? A few, and I believe that “true friendship is rare” is the most realistic adage.

Years ago, as we were relocating, my middle son was so upset because he didn’t want to leave his friends. The more I explained how it was a good promotion opportunity for his father and all of us, the angrier he became. Then he exploded: “It’s easy for you because you have no friends.”

I didn’t know why his words hurt so much, though they were true. It’s not that I have never had any friends, or that I am an introvert, or I don’t like socialising. I am not. Besides, if  the long list of contacts on your phone and social media accounts counts as true friends, then I have enough. Do you think they count? I don’t think so, because friendship is about quality, not quantity.

By the way, what is a friend?

A friend is someone who crosses your path naturally, smoothly, and unexpectedly. They make you feel comfortable. They truely listen, and genuinely talk.They make you laugh, weep, and even get mad. They wish  you well, and mean no harm. Above all, they trust you, and you trust them.

You may say this perspective of a friend is too angelic to find in the human world. But, I don’t mean they have to be perfect. I don’t expect them to be flawless. I don’t ask for a stong CV with high qualifications, extensive work experience, and a dazzling photo on top of it.

I only expect my friend to be a human with a genuine presence. A friend who wouldn’t disappear all of a sudden, and would ask about me if I did. A friend who promises to call and keep their promise. Is this too much?

Perhaps, that’s why we made the best friends in the simple, carefree, and funny phase of childhood. But later on, things take a different route. In our teen years, friendship becomes moody, insecure, and even dangerous, just a reflection of the phase. In adulthood, it is casual, business – like, and a pastime much like social media. In middle age, it is a good book – the best friend indeed. And, in old age, I believe it will be a blend of good and bad memories.

By the way, this is my perspective on friends and friendship, and as we say in Arabic, it’s not the Holly Quran, so you can disagree.

Now, back to my son’s words. He didn’t ‘intend to hurt my feelings. He was about eleven years old, and his friends meant the world to him. He didn’t know about the phases of friendship, nor did he expect his mother to have gone through the same experiences with their ups and downs. Now, he’s twenty – two, and he has forgotten about his childhood friends, and has to move for better opportunities. It’s funny how I am the one asking about the whereabouts of his old friends. In most cases, he doesn’t know.

Isn’t that just how life is?

With hope and peace,

Nahla

P.S. I started this post last Friday, night but due to many intqerruptions including having a bad cold, It took longer than usual.  Finally, it’s all done.